Like every other blogger out there, I am starting this reflections post with the obligatory ‘I can’t believe it’s already April!’. But seriously, how did that happen? March, although seeming to fly by, was quite the struggle for me to get through at times. It wasn’t all bad though…
The first half of the month ran pretty smoothly, dare I say uneventfully. I was on top of my Open University work, went to a Sigrid concert, and even managed to start feeling more comfortable in my working environment. Then it was my birthday: half of which was was an extremely stressful morning at work, the other half of which was amazing. Either way, I made it to twenty, so I guess that’s an achievement!
Soon after that, I went on a hectic tour around England to visit potential universities and decided on my favourite – only for that university to be the one institution, out of all five, to reject me. This whole situation really set me back in March and I have felt extremely lost trying to move forward and work out my next move.
This led to a huge loss of self-confidence and a lack of motivation for many things I normally feel capable of doing. As a result of this, I took a bit of a social media break for a week to focus on myself; I think I really needed this time alone for my thoughts to start processing.
One way in which this manifested was through starting to write poetry – a form of writing that feels personal and intimate, and very much an activity of self reflection. I’ve had a few past experiences dabbling in poetry before but in March I felt like I found a style that I like – I don’t quite know yet if it’s my style, but it’s definitely a style. I’ve shared two poems on my blog so far, Taking Control Of My Life Decisions and What No One Wants To Hear, and have had quite a few positive responses, so thank you so much for that!
Going into April, I have had enough of my ruminating negative thoughts; I am trying to leave the majority of these in March and really try hard to take some positive steps forward. This month, I am challenging myself to get up early every single day, follow basic to-do lists, get out and exercise more, and prioritise important things. Letting life events push me so far off kilter isn’t a sustainable way to exist and I don’t want to have to repair everything from scratch every time something shakes me.
I want to be able to think about and deal with difficult things without physically feeling the impact throughout my whole mind and body. This is the valuable lesson March has taught me.
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