We all have a comfort zone: some are small and particular whilst others are bigger and encompass a lot of experiences. Some have thick walls constantly under guard whilst others have more lenient borders. As I’ve grown up, my comfort zone has stretched out in many ways – for example, my independence, ability to travel alone and slower heart rate when making phone calls.
Yet, in a lot of other ways, my comfort zone has shrunk as I’ve become more self-aware, and as a result of this, more self-conscious. My comfort zone in terms of putting myself out there, doing sport and self-confidence have all diminished; sometimes it feels like the walls have been built up higher and surrounded by a moat. This is something I’d like to change.
This isn’t a new revelation, or action plan, for me. For quite a few years now I’ve been finding myself in situations where I’m miles away from my comfort zone and have chosen to stay there and push through the discomfort. Especially since leaving school, there have been many opportunities for me to experiment with pushing these boundaries out, from getting new jobs and talking to new people, to starting this blog and solo travelling. And yes, it is normally worth it.
I remember very clearly a moment that took place perhaps five years ago. The day I had just enough courage to go to the post office on my own and mail a parcel at the counter, heart crashing against my ribs and sweat streaming down my spine. That girl could not pick up a phone unless it was her mum or dad on the other end, she had only just started being able to order her own food at restaurants, and that girl felt weak. Yet she so clearly wasn’t. Because that girl was me: a young woman who has done so many unimaginable things since then. It was that terrified girl who one day had the strength to confront her discomfort by taking a deep breath and moving the bricks of her comfort zone a couple of paces outwards.
In my experience, introversion and anxiety naturally lean towards a small, well-protected comfort zone. It has been a constant battle, in a loud, outgoing, connected world, for a person of such a temperament to expand the boundaries of what’s comfortable. But every single time I have been able to look back and realise the space in which I feel relaxed and capable has grown, I feel a swoop of pride flip over my stomach.
Expanding your comfort zone changes so much about how you live your life, from what you do short-term and long-term, to how you think and feel about yourself. I’ve read a lot of blogs and articles and seen plenty of videos about doing things outside your level of comfort, and they all seem to come to the conclusion that doing things you never thought you possibly could, no matter how little, is a wonderful way to grow as a person.
I want to be more confident in myself. I want to feel worthy of other people’s time and space. I want to gather new experiences without being held back by anxiety. These are huge goals, but that doesn’t mean they’re unattainable. After all, I’ve broken through the walls of my comfort zone many times before and I am determined that I will continue to do so.
That sense of achievement I’ve felt before makes me hungry for more; I’m like a farmer who can’t stop buying up new fields because they’ve discovered a new fruit they want to try and need the space to plant it. There are so many things I haven’t yet tried, a lot of them because the boundaries of my comfort zone won’t allow me to. But this is something I’m slowly learning to change, because as cliché as it sounds, I don’t want to live a safe life of regret.
I want to push myself and do things in the future that seem as unfathomable to me now, as the things I do now seemed to the little girl I once was. This is the start of me documenting my experiences doing exactly that – from the small to the big, this post is my pledge to go forward seeking discomfort. Will you join me?
If you enjoyed this post, you might like:
What You Can Learn From Frustration: Thoughts on Anxiety and Self-Hatred
You Don’t Have To Eat Oysters: An Open Letter to Myself About Making Decisions
My Social Media Links:
Twitter (@alysjournals)
Instagram (@alystravels)
Hi Aly, I loved your post. I can relate to your anxiety. I can relate to the choice you have made to move past your comfort zones into new places of discovery. I was a very nervous boy andy young man. I still deal with anxiety at 56 but it doesn’t stop me like it did before. I have pushed myself like you into new experiences which continue to transform my life. I appreciate your story and look forward to more. I am going to re-post your blog on my blog. It is important for people to read. I wish you a beautiful weekend.
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Aw thank you so much Roland! It is admirable that you have managed to push through all of that and still stretch yourself, that’s the sort of role model the world needs! Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing my post!
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I will join you! I need to challenge my comfort zone as well. Constantly growing & evolving is a must. I also have anxiety but pushing through when times get rough is something we all need to do to get better (even if it doesn’t feel good). Great post!
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Yay, that’s great! It can be hard but is definitely a lot easier alongside others who also find it hard. Thank you so much!
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I think my comfort zone has shrunk as I’ve gotten older. Travelling has been the best way to push myself out of my comfort zone, both in terms of forcing me to try new things but also just not worrying too much what people thing because I’ll never see any of those people again.
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Yes travelling is such a good way to stretch your limits! One of the reasons I love it so much x
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Very inspiring!
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Thanks!
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As usual I can totally relate. I feel like I’ve taken a massive step back where these kinds of things are concerned.. I’m way more introverted and have more of a difficult time going out etc than I used to. But I’ll keep pushing on like you and trying to break those walls I’ve put up.
Siobhan | http://www.veganbabelife.co.uk
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Yeah it can be hard to realise you’ve gone backwards, but I think we can use this as motivation to go further forwards! Thank you Siobhan!☺️❤
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I hope so! Any time 👭💗
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This is amazing Alys. I love how open and honest you are on your blog, it truly is inspiring to a lot of people. You keep pushing that comfort zone of yours and we’ll follow in your footsteps ❤️ Love reading about your journeys
Lon x
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Aw thank you Lon, I feel like honesty is the best way to connect to others! This comment is so lovely❤ x
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Your post made me think about how I’ve changed as a woman. Anxiety is an issue for me as well and pushing myself a bit each day helps! Thanks for sharing!
Dana
Nowheretobeproject.com
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Aw thanks so much Dana! Yes, baby steps haha
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From reading your post I can see that you already accomplished so much! Keep up the great work 😉 btw, I followed your blog!
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Thank you so much!☺️
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I love this post so much! Good for you for pushing out of your comfort zone; like you said, it’s usually worth it. It’s so hard, especially when you’re living with anxiety – you should be proud of yourself xx
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Thanks lovely! That’s very kind of you xx
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I love that line ‘I don’t want to live a safe life of regret’ and I think it’s something you can so easily do and then look back and see how much more you wanted to do. I’m an Actor who thinks nothing of performing in front of 100s of people so people assume I’ll be confident and extroverted and yet the thought of talking to strangers, making a phone call, getting petrol, and like you, going to the post office makes me sick with nerves, like I have to mentally prepare. I’m getting better because I refuse to be like this all the time but it’s tough and I don’t think extroverted people even consider that these things might actually be hard for some people. Really enjoyed this!
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Yes I totally agree. Wow, that must be tough! Thanks for sharing your experience with me 🙂
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I feel I can relate to you so much Alys! I’ve wanted to get out of my comfort zone for a long time now, but it’s easier said than done ahaha – I feel like I spend a lot of time giving people advice to step out of their comfort zone, but I’ve never really done it myself!
jenny x | http://www.jennyrosee.com
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That’s so true, it is really hard. I guess we just have to keep taking small steps haha x
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I definitely need to get out of my comfort zone a lot more because I’ve missed out on so many opportunities!
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It can be hard but is so worth it!
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Alys- I too am terribly anxious and am just now finding the courage to dance outside of my comfort zone. I love reading about other people that are doing the same. Keep up the good work 🙂
-Heather
https://wordpress.com/view/timeflieswhenyoureanxiousandselfmedicated.com
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I’m so happy you’re stepping out there too, that’s great to hear! Thank you Heather
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