Learning to Run – Conversations with Anxiety #11

Conversations With Anxiety is a series which aims to convey what it’s like to live with anxiety. These dialogues are snapshots of the debates I have or have had with anxiety: the things we fight over, the discussions we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality.

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Me: Let’s go for a run!

Anxiety: Huh?

Me: It will be good for us.

Anxiety: Us? No no no, you know I hate physical activity – especially physical activity which other people can observe!

Me: Fine, you won’t like it but it will be good for me.

Anxiety: You’re trying to get rid of me aren’t you. You’re doing all of this to push me out.

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Am I Good Enough to be a Blogger? – Conversations with Anxiety #10

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: Why do we do this ‘blogging’ thing?

Me: Do you have to ask this now? I’m trying to concentrate on writing a post.

Anxiety: You’re avoiding the question.

Me: Ufff. We blog because it’s fun, we enjoy writing, we like connecting with others, hopefully we have something at least a little worthwhile to say–

Anxiety: Ugh, really? You actually think that?

Talking About Anxiety – Conversations With Anxiety #09

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Facilitator: “Okay, so now we’re going to go around the group and each person is going to tell us what they find hard about doing their job.”

Anxiety: Uh oh.

Me: You. That’s the simple answer.

Anxiety: Wait, what?

Feeling Worthless – Conversations With Anxiety #08

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Depression: We are so worthless.

Me: Huh?

Depression: I mean, look at us, literally what is the point.

Me: That’s a little negative, don’t you think?

Depression: Well what is there to be positive about?

Me: A lot of things! Such as–

Being Followed – Conversations With Anxiety #07

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: There’s someone following us.

Me: I mean, he’s not following us, he just happens to be walking in the same direction.

Anxiety: Yeah, behind us.

Me: …what do you expect, everyone to be walking ahead of us?!

Anxiety: No, of course not! Just not this close behind us.

Me: That’s not really his fault though, is it?

At The Bank – Conversations With Anxiety #06

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: It looks empty in there, I don’t think we should go in.

Me: That’s a good thing, it means we’ll get served faster.

Anxiety: Hmm, actually it just means more attention on us.

Me: Not really, the staff are all busy doing their own thing.

Anxiety: You think? You sure they’re not all just standing around waiting for us to come in? So they can stare and listen to every word we say?

The Meeting – Conversations With Anxiety #05

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: Urr what’s this? Where are we going?

Me: A casual meeting, nothing bad.

Anxiety: Uh oh.

Starbucks Sickness – Conversations With Anxiety #04

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: Oh my god, what was that.

Me: Nothing, it was nothing.

Anxiety: Was that a wave of nausea?

Me: No, we’re fine.

Anxiety: Nope that was definitely a feeling of sickness. What if we throw up? In the middle of Starbucks.

Ordering Food – Conversations With Anxiety #03

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Anxiety: Why are we doing this?

Me: Huh?

Anxiety: We can’t make decisions, we shouldn’t be here.

Me: What?!

Anxiety: This requires a decision! A big one, a fast one! Hurry up, we have to –

Me: Seriously?

Job Hunting – Conversations With Anxiety #02

Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.

Me: Ohh, that cafe has a sign in the window! Hopefully it’s for a job.

Anxiety: Nah, it won’t be, they never have job adverts up.

Me: Well they must do sometimes, they can’t keep the same staff forever.

Anxiety: Of course they can! Come on, let’s go home.

Me: But we haven’t even given out one CV yet, and that’s what we came to town to do.