A (kind of) Love Letter

Hey there,

I know you’re feeling hurt at the moment, I sense it in the silence and distance between us. Whenever I try to start a conversation with you, you leave me with unfinished sentences: frustrating lines that hit connectives, hanging as uncomfortably at the end of a line as an introvert at a frat party. Connectives are made to mingle amongst the dancing letters of a sentence, not act like roadblocks for a train of thought.

You can tell I’m frustrated when I start mixing modes of transport in one simile. Yes, I’m a little frustrated. Not at all with you though, you’ve been wonderful this last year, but with myself for neglecting you these past months. And for allowing that to create both this space between us and my difficulty in coming back to you. You’ve always been there for me when I needed to let my thoughts out in chaotic streams of consciousness, no matter how much time and attention I had, or didn’t have, for you. And so I can understand you’re hurt.

You mean a lot to me; I figured you’d be quite mad that I missed such a major milestone. So to make it up, I’m now wishing you a belated Happy Birthday for the 7th November! You turned one this year, isn’t that crazy? You, my blog, have officially entered your second circuit around the sun. Congrats!

You’ve grown so big in such a short time, you’re no longer a simple shout into the void. You took your first tentative steps at the end of last year, unsure of your place in the world. Yet things have changed so quickly, from nothing to this. You’ve said a lot of words, despite being so young – I think you’re on about 116,000 now. And you already have plenty of friends: you’ve given nearly 1,500 people a good-enough impression to get them to follow along on your life journey. That’s pretty cool.

Together, we have developed creatively, shared experiences and expanded thoughts, and connected with people and their blogs all over the world. I know some people may find it silly, talking to my blog in such a literal way. However, at times, our space in the car park that is the internet has allowed me to stop and chat to the drivers of cars I never would’ve noticed speeding past me on the motorway that is life. Even though you, my blog, are not conscious, the people you’ve opened up connections with are very much so. And all this life bubbling below the surface is the reason to keep nourishing you.

I hope this piece of appreciation for you has appeased you slightly, and that this will be the thing that frees us up to get creating again. I don’t want this silence between us to carry on anymore – I just needed reminding of how much I value you and everything you stand for. So can we call a truce and get back to what we both love?

I’m excited to see where you end up by the time you turn two – hopefully I won’t miss that birthday as well. Thank you for existing, I love you.

Alys xx

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